Monday, July 18, 2011


Tara Perry

How could you, Fresh Beat Band? I devote my time, attention, love and energy to DVRing your show, faithfully tuning in to new episodes, downloading your songs for the iPod, and even making your patented Groovy Smoothie step by step with my kids. (See recipes here.) Then you take my very favorite cast member, Marina, and replace her with some other girl and PRETEND IT'S STILL MARINA?! Well, I have news for you, buddies, WE ALL FIGURED IT OUT. I understand the original Marina (played by the wonderfully wondertastic Shayna Rose) left to focus on her marriage and family and blah blah blah and I am totally sympathetic to her idea - I stay at home with my girls, after all, and family is very important to me. HOWEVER, if she had to leave, could you not invent some little story about her going away and make a new cast member with a new name? Why stick in somebody else (abomination before God, Tara Perry) who looks like she belongs in a Julia Roberts musical or a corporate office somewhere, or behind a Fox news desk, give her Marina's name, and hope her enthusiastic jumping and apparent ability to dislocate her jaw on demand to engage in terrifying grins which I suppose are meant to convey how REALLY REALLY SUPER she thinks it is to be a Fresh Beat...but she's not. And I'm sad. And I sit beside my six year old and every single time the other people call her Marina, we look at each other knowingly, and simultaneously yell "THAT'S NOT MARINA!"

Seriously, it's that big of a deal to me. Why not Kiki? For the love of God, WHY NOT KIKI?!

Next rant: why I always fall in love with the drummers on kids shows.

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